drop-in, turn-up, blog-on!!

OK, so... I eventually mustered up the courage to go to the Essex-based Women4Women (great name) drop-in – a coffee morning held every two weeks for lesbian and bisexual women. To say that I was pleasantly surprised would be like saying the Titanic hit a couple of ice cubes and took on a little water. I was A-mazed! Such a friendly bunch, and women of all ages – twenty-somethings, thirty-, forty-, fifty-, yes even sixty-somethings, and... one incredibly cheeky 89-year-old! I'm looking forward to getting to know her. All from completely different backgrounds, with noticeably different styles; but two things in common (well, three if you count the obvious): sense of humour and warmth. They were so welcoming, and immediately I was put at ease by their willingness to accept me and include me in their banter.

We all shot the breeze for a couple of hours, then a few decided they'd like to carry on chatting after the venue closed, so I joined them as they moved on to a local pub for lunch. Again, I felt completely comfortable with them, as if I'd known them for years - weird! Now, I know I shouldn't get too carried away - and past experience is telling me not to be so naïve as to take anything on face value - but I am feeling a bit hopeful about human kind after my two-and-a-half years of self-imposed exile.

And once I found out that there are quite a few members who regularly play pool and darts together... well, I was filled with more optimism right then and there! Does that make me a stereotypical lesbian? Oops. Then again, they do all sorts of things that mean just about anyone could get their fill of socialising – walks, cycling, meals, karaoke, parties, film nights, theatre, BBQs, the list goes on and on. Do I sound like I'm doing a promotion for them? Well, maybe I am!

If I'd known this wonderful, diverse, funny, kind, well-organised group of lesbians existed just around the corner from my house a couple of years ago, I needn't have spent so long sitting in solitude, doubting myself. And I'm sure there are plenty of women sitting around like I was, who would benefit greatly from making the acquaintance of these gals. So, if anyone stumbles across this blog and needs some socialising, I won't hold back from recommending them! Find them at: www.w4wessex.co.uk

single-on-sea

Free at last, free at last, thank the Universe I'm free at last! Hmmm, now what? There ought to be a lesbian handbook I can consult that would tell me what to do when you split up and She-who-cannot-be-named gets to keep the friends – not that I would want them.

 

Anyhoo, it gets me to thinking – there should be a welcome pack awarded when you come out:

 

* k d Lang CD

* 'Bound' DVD

* Some dental dams (and instructions!)

* A bunch of takeaway menus

* Style guide (femme, stem, futch, butch, lone star, gold star, lipstick, chapstick, diesel dyke,

baby dyke, pillow queen, stone butch, boi, stud, lug, kiki, gayelle, etc. I mean, ffs!!)

* Packing boxes sporting a very large warning sticker if you've been together less than a

month that says 'Stop, put the boxes down, have a cup of tea, write a list of pros and cons, and if you still want to move in with her, DON'T – even if she's being evicted, has no money and none of her family will let her stay with them – there's probably a very good reason! Like deep down maybe she's not a very nice person.'

 

Anyway, all that's by the by, because here I am. At least I got two of the three dogs (stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason!), but I need some friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm super-happy to be single – having just gone through two years of a million reasons why you shouldn't be with just anyone to avoid being alone, but I would love to hang out with people of like-mind, i.e. lady-lovers.

 

I've seen lots of lesbians wandering around Southend, but I can't just saunter up to them and say 'Hey, you look gay, do you want a friend/dogsitter/project?' And I can't go to the local lesbian bar, because She-whose-name-shall-never-again-be-uttered could be there with her friends - not my kind of people.

 

So, to good-old-Google I turn. Upon doing so, I discover very, very few choices in my area. There is one – Women4Women – that sounds vaguely interesting. But am I brave enough to go along to an event on my own? Am I Heck! I'll either drag my straight friend (who's been showing signs of being bi-curious), or wait 'til one of my gay friends from London is visiting. I'm not going to get my hopes up though – it could just be a bunch of desperate un-dateables clinging to each other for grim death, or rather in mortal fear of living – gasp - alone.

 

Wish me luck and watch this space...